The Self Respect Perspective
I am a 35 year old personal trainer. I am 5.4, 128 pounds, a mom, and a wife. I work my butt off for my health, my body and my life and I am proud of it.
I look great for having 1 child and once being a size 16 Marlboro Mediums lover.. My chest is less pretty than I would like but I have my mom’s chest, I also have my mom’s legs which are killer so I will take them. I don't love my once broken nose or round cheeks, but when I smile they all work together so I wouldn't change a thing.
I have been told by people that “I know what I want and that is rare.” It drives me crazy. Why is it rare? Doesn’t everyone know what they want? Shouldn’t everyone know what they want?
I am realizing how rare it is as I read posts lately on curvy and skinny girls and the hatred from both “sides”. I see people posting that "society" has created a completely unattainable image for women and I don't buy it. I highly doubt that all these angry posters are 16 years old and it saddens me to think that these are grown women who have built families and careers yet still seem to be prisoners in their bodies. By hating the skinny people in the pictures I think we are confirming the thought that skinny means perfect. Because it is easy to hate someone that is perfect right? Just because a person is skinny does not mean they are without problems, or are miserable or on drugs to stay skinny. Just because a person struggles with their weight does not mean they are likeable and would make a great friend.
I KNOW I am not going to look like an airbrushed 20 year old, so I don't even compare myself.
To blame the media and say they make things unattainable disrespects you as a person. You are giving control over to the media and proving they have the power. Clothes look great on hangers, and clothes designers are selling clothes, they are not in the market to make us feel better about ourselves as consumers.
Have you seen the beautiful Aimee Mullins? She is a model, a successful business woman... and she has no legs...I cry with love every time I see her speak.
Have you ever been beaten in a triathlon by a guy with only 1 leg? I HAVE!!! I got my butt kicked and he had to HOP to his bike from the swim. It was an unforgettable lesson in perspective for me. When I crossed the finish line I had done my best, but a guy with 25% less limbs than me had beaten me by nearly an hour.
What about the millionaires out there that were once homeless? There are a lot of them!
These people did not take no for an answer, they knew what they wanted and they went for it.
Sure if I wanted to look like Kate Hudson, or Jennifer Hudson (both of whom I think are pretty hot).. I can't get there. I am short, white, and curvier than Kate but nowhere near as curvy as Jennifer. But can I be beautiful in my own way? YES!
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, well behold yourselves kids because you will only be as beautiful as YOU think you are. That is where it starts, the media, and the self image... if we don't have a healthy relationship with ourselves we won't be able to relate a healthy beauty to others.
Do some people think I am beautiful? Yes! My husband, some of my clients, my mom and dad.... Do some people think I am short, squatty and a frizzy haired mess? Yep, I am sure some people do. But I am me and I can always tell on the days I feel the most confident are the same days I look the most beautiful. I know this specifically because I was having a great day last week. I finished a day with lots of clients hitting their goals and lots of things going on in my own life that were going great. The sun was shining and it was a Friday. I went through the Starbucks drive through and that sweet gal asked if I had just had sex because I was completely glowing. She commented I looked so beautiful and happy. She didn’t know I had yet to shower at 3pm and stunk to high hell.
Am I happy with where I am today? Heck yeah! But do I want to continue to improve and evolve until the day I die? ABSOLUTELY! I have dealt with depression and loss, but at this point I have been blessed to have more joy than sorrow in my life.
I will evolve, I will take the good with the bad... and I will ALWAYS love myself. Even on the days I don't really want to, because hating myself is no longer an option. I have been there and it never solved anything, love heals and is always positive.
I hope to love myself better tomorrow than I do today and I hope for you to find love in your own heart. Don't fight the body you are today, love it and nurture it. Make the most of what you have today and you will amaze yourself at what your body gives back to you tomorrow.